What a full winter holiday. I went from one amazing activity to another. In each place I made an intention asking myself what I wanted to learn or how I wanted to grow. It was a time of being full. The fullness of love, holding, presence, fun, laughter, and lots and lots of light. In creating these intentions it brought me pause to notice something really important.
As I look back, I can touch on all the ways I was held. I speak of the ways that I felt supported, times to lean into grace and know something or someone had my back. What I realize now is how I have always had this support but I wasn’t able to see it and thus unable to take it in. I notice this lovely way in which I am held in the simplest of places.
Let me share with you what I found:
In times when I was cooking for a long while, my dog Apple would come in and look at me with pleading eyes. Occasionally, I took the time to sit down and welcome her warm soft body cuddled in my nap and embrace all the love she holds. She got me off my feet and focused on the warmth in my belly and reminded me what it feels like to hold another and connect.
In a group of family or friends deep in conversation I was able to catch my husbands eye and receive a smile, reflecting the smile for him on my face. In that moment as the warmth cascaded in my belly I was reminded of what it is to be loved just in being me.
While wrapping presents (which is a chore for me), I could hear the deep laughter of my son in the telling of a joke. In that moment the contagiousness of the laughter warmed my belly and brought deep connection to a joy I had almost forgotten.
While driving north into Canada and falling into the tediousness of the journey, I sang along with my whole family to the music playing. In that moment my belly warmed from the graciousness of being together and making sound. In that same journey, looking out into the ocean, or at the rock formations brought a similar warming of my belly- the wonder and beauty in my surroundings and how it feels to connect with nature.
While skiing and wondering if my knee would hold up to all the activity, I listened to the excitement and joy my daughter shared about her college experience. My belly warmed with the beauty of this human being who is a part of me, yet on her own journey.
While being in a new role in a group and uncertain if I truly belonged, I watched the group lean in to listen to me, reach out to me in just the way I asked and offer me unwavering support. My belly warmed in the reminder that no matter where I am I do belong.
In my workouts in the morning as I dropped into pushing harder or going faster a friend gave me permission to listen to my body and do what felt right. In that moment my belly warmed with deep appreciation that I was going to slow down to actually listen.
I take a walk in the mornings when the light is just starting to come. One particular day, the clouds were heavy in the sky offering a blanket, the edge of a cushy container. The trees branched out in their evergreen way, lofty and full protecting me from a light rain. The air was moist and clear in my lungs. My belly warmed with the beauty of being held by a world that is truly breathtaking.
I sit with a client at the start of a session and hear the difficulty of the day, a description of the pain in their shoulder and neck. I listen to an intention of theirs and notice how my belly warms with the grace and beauty of their inner knowing and I am reminded of the beauty and the deep wisdom of health that is held in each of us.
I can lean into the grace of being held and from there I learn, grow, heal, laugh, cry and deepen into each and every moment. So can you!
Christa
